Thursday, May 12, 2016

Rants: Queasy

Lately, I've been having this uneasy feeling which I want to be rid off ASAP! There's this thought deep in my mind which I'm not sure what it is but what I know is that it's toxic and it's the main cause to this unholy feeling. It's almost a perfect mixture of guilt, jealousy, worry and angst and if these 4 feelings are villains, the world as we know it must've been buried under ashes by now. THAT BAD.

How I wish I could just blurt it out online, but you know how big of a jinx that could be. If anything could be faster than a bolt of lightning, it would be the spread of a gossip. But this is eating me up! 'Cause the one person I would rather talk to about it, unfortunately, is the girl I feel guilty for. Fan-flipping-tastic!

The thing is, what I did was reckless and hasty, driven by the impatience of wanting to know an answer for a question that I've been dying to ask. So whatever I did back there might just ruin a budding friendship just because I wasn't careful enough with my mouth and my unstable feelings. Everyone knows these two aren't the best of combos! Goodness, how dumb.

So for some reason now, I feel like the girl knows, but refuses to make it obvious (but I feel like it is (or maybe not idk)). Though I feel the tension, and the tiny but SIGNIFICANT distance between us now just kills. I mean, I thought this friendship could turn out to be a decent one, at least. But by the looks of it, slim chance. HEH.

I don't know what I should do next. Do I just confess the crime I did and then continue with my confrontation about this other related topic, or do I just act as if nothing happened until everyone forgets or do I move to North Pole, the only place that feels as cold as the cruelty of the world??

Okay I'm done. It's just another pointless rant so goodnight.

1 comment:

  1. I think the third option sounds good. Let's move to North Pole, together ! . We can get super duper cold ice cream and froze to death. Sounds like a plan >,<