tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44902634580934567612024-03-14T17:38:13.648+08:00ΑφροδίτηDaylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-84550470192848450892018-04-03T15:29:00.000+08:002018-04-03T15:44:08.634+08:00Anger is what I feel, anger is what I want to channel and anger is what I want to show. But the fact that I'm a big girl and I should hide what I feel, that made me even angrier at the world, at everybody. And the recent events in my life is not exactly helping me recover as well. I knew I had anger issues but I never thought it would get worse over time. After 7 years, shouldn't it at least die down a little bit.<br />
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At times like this, isn't it <i>you</i> who's supposed to be here? Isn't vulnerability <i>leads</i> to honesty? Don't you <i>want</i> me to be honest, point blank? Don't you <i>want </i>me to see my ego crumble into ruins? Don't you <i>want</i> to witness me at my weakest? Don't you <i>wan</i>t to know what I've been keeping to myself? If I have reckless thoughts? If I'm coping with it well? I<i> thought </i>you loved me.<br />
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By tomorrow, my ego could be back. And that's not all that is coming back, my anger will too, my insecurities, my fears, my problems, everything. And my ego will protect it because I'm supposed to be a big girl, to hide feelings away from everyone, including you. But I guess, that is what you want because you're exactly like that.<br />
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This is what's supposed to make us stronger. To witness the bad and the ugly and bracing through it, that will bond us. But we're going to sleep tonight angry and sad while tomorrow is promising another ignorant day. The saddest thing about this is that knowing we are never going to truly know each other despite the fact that we are bounded by blood. The saddest, because we will know each others flaws, front and back, but will never know how to handle them, ever. As families, -- wait. are we <i>really</i> a family?Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-33162378790317137812017-06-05T21:15:00.000+08:002018-04-03T16:06:47.714+08:00Ayah<div style="text-align: center;">
In remembrance of a loving father. </div>
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It's your birthday today and you would be just 41 this year. It's that month again where we would get the same Secret Recipe chocolate indulgence cake that you like so much and KFC or sparkling juice to make it a little more fancy. It would be joyous, as always. A small dinner to celebrate us getting older and wiser, right? But then, time stopped for you seven years ago. We haven't been celebrating your birthday together for <i>seven</i> years now. <b><i>Seven</i></b>. And then it's going to become eight and then nine, ten and so on and then one day, it's gonna be 13 or 14 years since the last time I saw you. You know, the saddest moment in my life to date would be the day you passed, but in 7 years to come, around August, sorrows would indulge me once again. Probably worse that time because then I would have lived longer without you than I have lived <i>with</i>. I would have spent most of my time having someone else take your place and not you. It hurts. It really really cuts that deep. I still have so much to learn from you. You still haven't taught me the tricks of being in a relationship, or what to do when I get my heart broken, or at least watch me struggle with architecture. You'd bawl into tears seeing me getting thrown in Sarawak and I probably would've asked for engineering tips if you were still here. Well, if only. So now that you're not with me, someone else is doing your job for you, especially the scolding part...... but the one thing that he will never ever do is love me the way you did. Again, this hurts me in ways I could not explain.</div>
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I know I can't see you again until it's my turn to answer His call, but for now, I just want to be closer to you, to be back to the place they laid you down in peace. Ayah, Marha nak balik. </div>
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I miss you. </div>
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Selamat Hari Jadi</div>
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Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-80412606250890016562015-08-19T12:55:00.001+08:002015-08-19T12:56:05.605+08:00UpsetIt is true that once upon a time, I was out of control. It is true that I chose to change into someone better. Unfortunately, it is true that what I am today is not that much a difference from what I was. But what is also true – the truth that no one seemed to take notice – is the fact that there is <i>still</i> a little gap of change that separates what was then and what is now.<div><br></div><div>Somewhere along the line of life, I've been told facts and truths about the mistakes I've made and consequently burns my chest with what everyone must be familiar of; regret. Someone must have cared about me – and it's good to think that they do – to be honest enough to point out the flaws in me and I noticed that they were also silently telling me to change. A plead I chose not to listen to because this is something only I can control. Despite this all and having more than one person to spectate what I do with my life, I never did it for them. I did try to change, and still am, but I'm doing it for me.</div><div><br></div><div>To change was a choice only I can make and I expect them to understand that it's a slow process. Surely, everyone knows that. But all of a sudden, it's not about me anymore. In fact, it came out as a shock to me how some people are actually unforgiving when I can't achieve a goal of their expectations in the amount of time they secretly set. With that, you added a hidden burden on my back. For someone who had helped me build the confidence I need to turn my life around, how could you be the one who causes it to crumble again?</div><div><br></div><div>Now because of that, I get misunderstood just because I didn't change from a caterpillar to a butterfly skipping the crucial process of changing into a cocoon first. That frustration when I am always misunderstood and accused for doing things far from my purest intentions is making me tremble. I was thrown into a spot where you hurl stones of condemnation and doubt straight to my face. Am I that bad of a person that no one thinks I am capable of change? Am I really that lost that my confession to start over is a laughing stock? Is it so embarrassing, disgusting, a total disgrace, that I am just another human being?</div><div><br></div><div>For now, I am genuinely upset to witness how someone who gave me so much hope to change, turns into someone who now believes that whatever strings I am trying to pull is going to be hopeless. And what is more upsetting is that I am starting to believe that too.</div><div><br></div><div>Updated: I realised, even if anyone leaves me during my struggle to find a better turning point, I shouldn't be upset. After all, it was me who decided to change. By hook or by crook, with or without you, I am going to change. For me.</div><div><br></div><div>“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you've come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.”</div>Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-20253075577167865822015-07-18T00:37:00.001+08:002017-06-01T22:37:04.706+08:00Eid Mubarak '15, Day 1<div>
I<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"> don't know how to describe what my first day of raya this year feels like, but it's definitely not 'fun'. Only one of my six aunts and uncles came back to Kelantan for raya, while the rest celebrates the joyous day in different realms of Malaysia tercinta. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Pagi raya was nothing epic, just a small celebration amongst the small number of family members that were present including my cousins and grandparents. Starting with donning new raya attires, we then celebrated our raya with bersalam salaman and a little brunch of nasi dagang before some of us leaves for the mosque to execute raya prayers. Soon after, people started visiting us. That sounds fun yeah? Chatting with relatives that I haven't seen for so long, check out what's new with them and such... sounds promising. But unfortunately for me, those were just 'expectations'. Small talk with them was totally out of the question. They come and go but the only interesting topic I can ever discuss with them is about my soon-to-be university. "Study mana nanti?" "Sarawak" "Goodluck ya nanti" and that's the end of it. Was it me? Was it them? Is this just an excuse? I'm not even sure but somehow, when the moment came, no one seemed to be interested in starting a conversation, even me, sadly. Plus, they were too occupied talking about family issues that requires me to stay away from, so I didn't get the chance to butt into their conversations for long. Devastated I was. And to make it more upsetting, out of all the guests that exits the door of our threshold, only one of them had an angpau of duit raya to offer :') But it's okay, I understand (not) so meh. So this went on and on until I had no choice but to replenish my energy with a nap, that was interrupted midway with more people in the living room. Kill me already. But.. as long as I have my cousin slash sister I never had by my side (and maybe also my phone) everything was bearable. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Hopefully, tomorrow is a better day and also my turn to add dirty plates in other people's sinks for them to wash *evil grin*</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">The ultimate question... what was fun about today? Well, to be completely honest, the only activity that was close to being entertaining to me is... you guessed it, the raya pictures *shrugs*. Yeah, life as a narcissist. What else is better than taking 371937 shots of yourself in the same pose right? And that, is my first day of raya in 2015. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Datin for an hour before I was drenched in sweat and dish water. Eww, I know.</span></div>
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And that one sister I can actually tolerate with</div>
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With love, </div>
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Gadis.</div>
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Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0Kota Bharu Kota Bharu6.117611 102.243526tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-11422792789322256812014-09-18T14:23:00.002+08:002014-09-18T14:44:14.322+08:00Of Boredom, I sufferI don't wanna rot alone, so I decided to post facts about myself and bore you guys as well.<br />
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<ul>
<li>My full name is <i>Marha Irdina Binti Izzuddin</i></li>
<li>I was born on <i>14th June 1997</i> (day/month/date)</li>
<li>I am an <i>American citizen by birth</i> <i>but am also a Malaysian</i> because <i>my parents are from here and I've lived in Malaysia for as long as I remember)</i> and this makes me feel <i>torn because I have to choose my permanent citizenship when I turn 18. </i></li>
<li>My star sign is <i>Gemini </i></li>
<li>My parents are <i>scary</i></li>
<li>I have <i>10</i> siblings (if you have them!)<i> and they're also quite scary</i></li>
<li>I am currently at school / <strike>university / college or I currently work at</strike> </li>
<li>What I like about my school / <strike>job </strike>is <i>my math teacher, my clique (lah sangat) and the loitering kittens at 6.15 am every day</i></li>
<li>What I dislike about my school / <strike>job</strike> <i>is pretty much everything that defines 'school'</i></li>
<li>I am saving up because <i>my parents are not really fond of buying me stuffs.</i>.</li>
<li>My home is in <i>KL </i>(place) and I have lived here for <i>4 years and a half</i> (years)</li>
<li>My friends are (names and descriptions)</li>
</ul>
<ol>
<li><i>Alysha (cousin, my legit 'BFF')</i></li>
<li><i>Azlina (personal counselor)</i></li>
<li><i>Khaleeda (funny as fuck)</i></li>
<li><i>Hakim (horny all the time)</i></li>
<li><i>Amin (I wanna punch his face) </i></li>
<li><i>Nik (fatso)</i></li>
<li><i>Nadiah (sinetron actress)</i></li>
<li><i>Izza (naturally hilarious)</i></li>
<li><i>Sarah (Izza's bestfriend, have nuclear bomb launch codes in her head)</i></li>
<li><i>Nadia Emira (braceface and gorgeous)</i></li>
</ol>
<ul>
<li>I love people who can <i>keep a conversation interesting</i> (take risks / tell funny stories, etc.)</li>
<li>My favorite activity/activities include <i>travelling alone (to nearby places)</i> and I love to do this because <i>it makes me feel independent and some places appear to be more scenic when I'm by myself.</i></li>
<li>My favorite color is <i>aquamarine</i> because <i>it reminds me of the shallow end of the sea</i>.</li>
<li>I love to say <i>babylon</i> and my most over-used saying is <i>probably 'because' and 'fuck' (sorry)</i></li>
<li>My favorite meal involves <i>rice (because I'm so Asian)</i> and my favorite snack food is<i> home-made egg sandwiches YUM</i></li>
<li>I consider myself to be<i> a bit of both</i> (healthy/unhealthy) and fitness is/<strike>is not</strike> <i>sort of important to me</i>. This is due to factors such as <i>my big love handles and flat ass.</i></li>
<li>Changes to my lifestyle I would like to make include <i>having a better stamina and stop procrastinating.</i></li>
<li>I am a<i> total klutz, reckless and everything unholy</i> (<strike>clean</strike>/messy/<strike>organized</strike>/chaotic)</li>
<li>I lose/<strike>don't lose</strike> things <i>all the time, I CAN'T EVEN</i></li>
<li>I don't need to change anything about my life or lifestyle because <i>that's a lie. I DO. Desperately, even.</i></li>
<li>The person who supports me the most is <i>my boyfriend</i> and in my life he has helped me <i>to not be so depressed 24/7 although he often becomes the cause of my hair-tugging nights..</i></li>
<li>The best time of the day to me is <i>way after midnight</i> because<i> that's the time where I couldn't care less about the problems in my life bcs I'm deep in my sleep.</i></li>
<li>I like (<strike>sunrise</strike>/sunset) the most because <i>I sleep till the sun is above my head is why</i></li>
<li>I need to have <i>food</i> every day. <i>duh</i></li>
<li>I hope to hear <i>Michael Buble singing in my ears as I go to sleep</i> (music/bands/a phrase/poetry/a speaker)</li>
<li>I want to see <i>my ex get donkey kicked by Chuck Norris</i> (films/shows/flowers/nature, etc.)</li>
<li>I am frightened by <i>loneliness</i> (snakes/cockroaches/bills/the dark) and this makes me <i>a wimp</i></li>
<li>My favorite movie of all time is <i>Love Actually</i></li>
<li>My greatest inspiration is <i>uh....</i></li>
<li>My all-time role model is <i>UHHHHH</i> because <i>UMMM (no, honestly, I don't think I have one)</i></li>
<li>I would like to be like <i>Emma Watson</i> because <i>she's an awesome example of Beauty and Brains.</i></li>
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<u><b>MY PAST </b></u></div>
<ul>
<li>When I was little I remember that<i> I watched South Park in someone's apartment (one of my earliest memories)</i></li>
<li>I felt <i>mostly happy</i> (happy/sad or other emotions)</li>
<li>My childhood was generally (positive/<strike>negative, etc.</strike>) and this is because<i> I didn't have a phone or a tab back then lol</i></li>
<li>My family is<i> uhmmm </i>(amazing/crazy/sad/wonderful/split up. etc.) and this is because ..... <i>*sighs</i></li>
<li>The good times I remember were <i>sushi dinners with my family before our movie starts (when my dad was still here) </i></li>
<li>The hard times I can remember include <i>the day my father died, and the day my mom remarried</i></li>
<li>I find / always found school to be <i>depressing</i> (easy/difficult/fun, etc.) and this is because <i>I often feel isolated by the people who I thought were my "friends"</i></li>
<li>The best teacher I ever had was<i> Miss Nina</i> because<strike> he</strike>/she gave me<i> Powerpuff girls stickers on my spelling book all the time</i> and that made me realize that <i>Powerpuff Girls stickers are motivational</i></li>
<li>The worst teacher I ever had was<i> Encik Salleh </i>because he<strike>/she</strike><i> practically whispers when he teaches and I can't hear a thing</i> because<i> I sit in the back of the classroom like waaaay back</i> and that made me realize<i> that I'm not a Vulcan</i></li>
<li>The music I like to listen to is I<i>ndie / Alternative</i> because it sounds like <i>pop candy in the form of music</i> and makes me feel <i>very hipster</i></li>
<li>I grew up thinking that <i>love is not something that lasts forever</i></li>
<li>I changed <i>in 2010</i></li>
<li><strike>The first concert event I ever went to was _____ (band/event) at the _____ (place) and I went with _____</strike></li>
<li>I found the experience of being in a large crowd to be<i> </i><i>scary and sort of fun at the same time?</i> (description)</li>
<li>The best holiday I ever had was<i> two years</i> ago when I went to <i>Perhentian Island</i> with <i>my family</i> and we <i>went snorkelling (it was my first time and it was amazing)</i> (description)</li>
<li>The best thing anyone has ever said to me is<i> "Ya Allah, lawanya" by Fazura (yes, the Malaysian actress). I couldn't get over it for a week.</i></li>
<li>The worst thing anyone has ever said to me is<i> "Marha nampak makin chubby" </i></li>
<li>What no one has ever told me is <i>that they can't live without me</i></li>
<li>My first crush on someone was <i>Firdaus Burhanuddin</i> because <i>he liked me first (HAHAHA) </i>and it happened when <i>I was 10 </i></li>
<li>The first time someone had a crush on me was <i>in 2007 </i>and it felt <i>so weird to be honest</i> because <i>"A BOY LIKES ME WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I DO NOW"</i> and it turned out to be <i>well, nothing </i>because <i>he moved the next year</i></li>
<li>In the past I have been hurt by <i>my ex (emotionally) </i>when I was<i> 15/16 </i>because<i> I gave too much of my love to someone who deserved none.</i></li>
<li>In the past I have hurt <i>my other ex </i>when I was <i>13</i> because <i>I felt as if he was controlling my life </i>and I feel<i> displeased about it</i></li>
<li>My most successful day was when <i>I scored a 'Turkey' at bowling</i></li>
<li>I received recognition when I <i>became an athlete during primary, became the new girl in my current school when I was 13, and when I sang 'You Can Count On Me' in front of everyone </i>(graduated/won a prize/got a job/moved out, etc.)</li>
<li>I am proud that <i>I still have a clean wrist even after years of being mildly depressed. </i></li>
<li>I look back at my life and I feel<i> that things have changed so fast over time because it felt like it was yesterday when I was still very innocent.</i></li>
<li>The greatest lesson I learned was<i> not to trust ANYONE</i> and I learned it when<i> I got lied to and lied.</i></li>
<li>The wisest thing anyone ever told me was <i>"Kalau ada jodoh takkan ke mana" HAHA</i> and it helped me <i>to get over a break up and move on.</i></li>
<li>The first time I was scared was when<i> .... shit, I don't remember.</i></li>
<li>The last time I went out was <i>last week.</i></li>
<li>The highlight of my school years was <i>when I.... don't even know</i></li>
<li>The greatest risk I ever took was<i> when I sneaked out to help a friend find my cousin's house in bloody Shah Alam.</i></li>
<li>The best result I ever got was when <i>I was 15. </i></li>
<li>The worst thing that ever happened to me was <i>when</i> <i>I lost the trust of my late father. And apparently my mom too now</i></li>
<li>The peak experience of my teen years was<i> ... can't believe I'm saying this, but when I rebelled and sneaked out.</i></li>
<li>The craziest thing that ever happened to me was<i> something I did last year. Don't ask me what it was. please</i></li>
<li>The funniest thing that ever happened to me was <i>forgetting the lyrics to the song I was supposed to sing at my kindergarten concert. I was already on the stage.</i></li>
<li>The last thing I purchased was a <i>bracelet.</i></li>
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Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-86916482945403735622014-08-08T18:16:00.000+08:002014-08-08T18:16:00.184+08:00The List<div style="text-align: center;">
I've always wanted to travel. It's a passion I've had for a very long time but never got the chance to live the dream. But one day, <i>when </i>I could just pack and leave for the journey, I want to be ready. I want a list of <i>all </i>the places I wanna go (doesn't necessarily have to be somewhere far. Some park I've never been to counts too) so I could keep track and not miss a single destination.</div>
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With spunky baby steps, I'll start with my country, Malaysia:<br />
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<li>Kuala Gandah</li>
<li>Kundasang</li>
<li>Taman Negara, Pahang</li>
<li>The Chilling Falls</li>
<li>Bukit Fraser</li>
<li>Amcorp Mall's Flee Market</li>
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The real deal:</div>
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<ul>
<li>Havasupai Falls, Arizona</li>
<li>Alaska</li>
<li>Iceland</li>
<li>Venice</li>
<li>Greece</li>
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The list doesn't end here. It <i>will </i>be updated.</div>
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Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-19932044549446642662014-08-05T14:55:00.001+08:002015-01-27T22:15:46.050+08:00Why I Believe A Smoke-free Environment Is Good For Everyone<div style="text-align: justify;">
Ever wondered why people keep telling us "Do Not Smoke" and why there are numerous posters and billboards propped up everywhere to encourage us to quit smoking or not smoke at all? That's because an estimated 5 million people die around the world each year by causes related to smoking, according to Harvard University. Around one-third of those deaths are caused by stroke and heart disease. The chemicals in a regular cigarette is so harmful that even the smoke released by it can affect the health of both smokers <i>and</i> second-hand smokers. Logically, this could be effectively prevented if each and every one of us say “NO” to smoking so the environment is smoke-free and healthier for us to live in. </div>
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Even though some people say that a smoke-free environment will make no difference whatsoever, I strongly believe that it will and it <i>is</i> good as well as beneficial for everyone. As we all know, smoking affects us in various aspects of our health such as physically, psychologically and socially.</div>
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When smoking, the percentage of oxygen that is delivered to your organs are low while carbon monoxide replaces the remaining percentage, causing the lactic acid build up to increase hence, making exercising even more painful for you. Furthermore, you will be four times as likely as non-smokers to report feeling unrested after a night's sleep, according to Johns Hopkins' study. The largest organ in a human body; your skin, will also be affected. It will wrinkle much easier and you will look 1.4 years older than non-smokers, on average. It's because smoking hampers the blood supply that keeps skin tissue looking supple and healthy. </div>
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So, I believe that if smokers quit smoking and non-smokers continue saying "No" to cigarettes, I am 100% sure that problems concerning our physical health could be put to a stop. Plus, everyone will be happier with their tip-top physical health and their restored beauty. Once you are addicted to nicotine, it would be very difficult for you to quit smoking as the withdrawal symptoms are quite excruciating. Nicotine can make you feel irritated, stressed and sometimes depressed. These are normal but if it happens in a long term, it will definitely affect your health negatively. </div>
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When the environment is smoke-free, imagine how optimistic everyone will be without feeling constantly irritated and depressed. Due to this, smokers tend to feel isolated. Therefore, I am sure that when we start living in a smoke-free environment, everyone will start socializing comfortably with each other while indirectly creating a happier community. I truly believe that a smoke-free environment is good for everyone because why would we want to risk our lives as well as inflict ourselves financially for something that gives such brief pleasure? We don’t gain any benefits from smoking instead, we suffer from it. Countless health benefits could be gained by practicing a lifestyle without smoking and nothing is as priceless as good health. Say “No” to cigarettes and quit while you can. Together, we can create a smoke-free environment and a lifestyle of choice.</div>
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xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><div style='width:500px;margin:0 auto'><div style='position:relative;'><a href='http://www.polyvore.com/stay_cool_even_in_school/set?.embedder=7018298&.svc=blogger&id=128655997' target='_blank'><img force='1' border='0' height='614' title='Stay cool even in school' src='http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/YDXyxe3yUFIOX9S5Cq7Fw/cid/128655997/id/fJYHOnwN5BGcPTNStfvecw/size/c500x614.jpg' alt='Stay cool even in school' width='500'/></a></div></div><br/><div style='text-align:center'><small><a href='http://www.polyvore.com/stay_cool_even_in_school/set?.embedder=7018298&.svc=blogger&id=128655997' target='_blank'>Stay cool even in school</a> by <a href='http://marha14.polyvore.com/?.embedder=7018298&.svc=blogger' target='_blank'>marha14</a> featuring <a href='http://www.polyvore.com/nearly_natural/shop?brand=Nearly+Natural' target='_blank'>Nearly Natural</a></small></div><div style='width:500px;margin:0 auto'><br/><div style='text-align:left;'><a 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rel='nofollow'><img force='1' height='50' title='Nearly Natural home decor' src='http://ak2.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-thing/size/s/tid/93472037.jpg' hspace='4' width='50' vspace='4'/></a><a href='http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/thing?.embedder=7018298&.svc=blogger&id=109852146' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'><img force='1' height='50' title='Metal home decor' src='http://ak1.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-thing/size/s/tid/109852146.jpg' hspace='4' width='50' vspace='4'/></a></div></div></div>Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-40346774464121708512014-07-17T16:13:00.003+08:002014-07-17T16:13:56.512+08:00You Can Never Be Too Nude!<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><div style='width:500px;margin:0 auto'><div style='position:relative;'><a href='http://www.polyvore.com/you_can_never_be_too/set?.embedder=7018298&.svc=blogger&id=128540882' target='_blank'><img force='1' border='0' height='613' title='You Can Never Be Too Nude!' src='http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/eI4TRyZbP5KiEV2sVEEBIA/cid/128540882/id/-rkZrrAM5BG3o7Gqtfvecw/size/c500x613.jpg' alt='You Can Never Be Too Nude!' width='500'/></a></div></div><br/><div style='text-align:center'><small><a href='http://www.polyvore.com/you_can_never_be_too/set?.embedder=7018298&.svc=blogger&id=128540882' target='_blank'>You Can Never Be Too Nude!</a> by <a href='http://marha14.polyvore.com/?.embedder=7018298&.svc=blogger' target='_blank'>marha14</a> featuring <a href='http://www.polyvore.com/outdoor_wall_decor/shop?query=outdoor+wall+decor' target='_blank'>outdoor wall decor</a></small></div><div style='width:500px;margin:0 auto'><br/><div style='text-align:left;'><a href='http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/thing?.embedder=7018298&.svc=blogger&id=112093195' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'><img force='1' height='50' title='Boohoo crop shirt' src='http://ak2.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-thing/size/s/tid/112093195.jpg' hspace='4' width='50' 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hspace='4' width='50' vspace='4'/></a></div></div></div>Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-74324319342478428272014-07-07T19:33:00.001+08:002014-07-07T19:33:28.948+08:00Being A Teen<div style="text-align: center;">
What being a teenager is from the point of view of my 10 year old self:<br />
<ul>
<li>Curves</li>
<li>Instant beauty after puberty</li>
<li>Silly crushes on boys</li>
<li>More duit raya</li>
<li>Loaded with $$ </li>
<li>Girls night out with your BFFs every weekend</li>
<li>Boobs that could actually fit a real bra</li>
<li>Dress fashionably (now that the chest got bigger)</li>
</ul>
and the list goes on...<br />
<ul></ul>
I was exposed to this kind of mindset when it comes to teens. I see them walking around malls with high heels on, going shopping, looking attractive and turning heads, it made me wish for time to go faster and </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: start;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
make me like them. I wanted to grow up. I don't want to be treated like a child anymore. No more scheduled evening naps, no more looking like an ugly plank, no more mockeries regarding my ugly kiddy face and no more "Duduk rumah je. You're still young" phrase from your parents.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well now I'm already in the shoes of a legit 17 year old and guess what? I hate it and I wish I was 10 again with the scheduled evening naps. Instead of happily ticking away the things I listed up there, I am now scowling at every single one of them.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Curves?</i></b> You don't get it as easy as <i>that. </i>You have to actually work for it. Well, for most of us at least. Some lucky girls though, get their curvy body figure by genes but even so, to maintain that shape is not very easy. From what you eat to what kind of workout you're practicing, it all counts. No pain, no gain.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="font-weight: bold;">Instant beauty after puberty? </i>BULL. If you're born with natural beauty, lucky you. If you know how to play around with cosmetics and fashion, kudos to you too. But how about us who are plain looking and have zero idea on how to put an eyeliner on? What's our luck? Sure, there will be a few changes here and there once you've reached puberty, but that's it. Skin problems still happens, acne comes around once in a week, your lips gets chapped all the time and how is <i>this</i> fun to be a teenage girl again?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="font-weight: bold;">Silly crushes on cute boys </i>sound fun huh? Did anybody warned you about what will happen if you get hooked to a person and your happiness becomes dependent? I bet not. There will be a time in our teenage years where you fall for someone. Sometimes they fall back for you, sometimes they don't. Painful if it's the second one, I swear.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now let's say you got yourself into a relationship. Yeah, you'll be happy if it works out well. But do you really think it's happy all the way? And how sure are you that the relationship will stay strong forever? You're bound to get hurt once in awhile whether you like it or not. Worse if you're already attached to that person who wounded you. Are you really up for the make ups and the break ups?</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<i style="font-weight: bold;">More duit raya </i>means <i style="font-weight: bold;">more cash? </i>Hypothesis rejected! In my family, the older you get, the lesser money you'll receive. Even if you are loaded with the help of savings and allowances, do you know how an average teenager spends? It's like pipe water. Money. Gone. In a blink of an eye.<br />
<br />
<i style="font-weight: bold;">Girls night out with your BFFs every weekend?</i> No way especially if you have strict parents who got you on the end of their leash. "Duduk rumah je. You're still young" is still on repeat even at this age, my love.<br />
<br />
<i style="font-weight: bold;">Boobs that can actually fit a real bra?</i> Wey I'm still flat. I still can't wear a lot of girl clothing because of my chest that resembles a nice varnished piece of plank. Yeah, I wish I had more chest to fill my cup. Although ironically, the girls who are naturally busty, begs for smaller ones! Because according to them, almost everything they wear will make them look bigger in size thanks to the bust. Girls and dilemmas; inseparable. Oh that's one more thing about being a teen! THE DRAMAS. Don't get me started on that, though.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Dress fashionably?</i> </b>This might not be a problem to most girls except for me. I have quite an expensive taste in fashion so yeah, unaffordable. Not to mention the flat body figure that I sadly own. Meh.<br />
<br />
So all in all, being a teen is not as easy as it looks like. Don't get me wrong, you're not going to be shitface depressed throughout your whole teenage years. You'll have your moments. The happy, the sad and the bittersweet. I'm just saying that it's not gonna turn out to be the life your 10 year old self was expecting. It's way harder than it seems and you got to learn how to deal with it.<br />
<br />
Best of luck.</div>
Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-33134520091016044552014-07-07T18:17:00.000+08:002014-07-07T18:22:36.661+08:00∞<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">“See you’ve memorized</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">The outline of your body</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">You know</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Every crease,</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Every edge, </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Every mark, </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Every curve</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">That you have</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">And right now</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">No one can tell you</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">That your big toe </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Is slightly bigger </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Than the toe next to it</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Or how the smile you have</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">When you’re happy</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Is different than the one</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">When you’re sad </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">But one day</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">You’ll meet someone</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Who has memorized </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Your body inside and out</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">They will be able to </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Paint you with their eyes closed</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">The best part about it is </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">He’s going to love every inch of you</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #343434; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">And he’s going to make you love yourself even more”</span></span></div>
</div>
Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-87716684661992379642014-07-01T21:22:00.002+08:002014-07-01T21:22:45.954+08:00Dad.<div style="text-align: center;">
Circa 2010.</div>
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Exhausted, I skipped off my bus and headed home in a fast-paced walk. The sun was blazing hot, my forehead was starting to bead with sweat<i> </i>and I am nothing but eager to reach home fast so I could cool down and have a nice simple lunch with my dad. As I reached the gates to my house, I heard a distant thumping from inside. Like the bass of a very loud music. Without skipping a beat, I opened the gates and sprinted to the front door so I could see what's going on inside. True enough, 'Pump It' by The Black Eyed Peas was blasting on the stereo somewhere inside.</div>
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At the hallway, I slowed down and slumped my bag at a corner next to the piano and went deeper inside the house, towards the living room. I walked slowly, then I stopped. </div>
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I <i>can't </i>believe what I'm seeing.</div>
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It has to be one of the most funniest, happiest, and the most heart-breaking scene that I've ever seen in my life.</div>
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It was my dad, dancing awkwardly to the beat as his moves are limited due to the effects of the medical treatment he recently received. He was diagnosed with Leukemia a few years back and it has worsened over the years and has reached to a point where his body parts are partially swollen and his joints could barely move. But that day, he tried to dance anyway because in his head, he thought, why stop dancing when you know you won't live long enough to dance again? I laughed but my eyes were already glimmering with tears but I held that in, careful not to ruin the moment for him. Instead of tearing up, I decided to join him. But little did I know that <i>that </i>dance was our last. Together, we chest pumped, did a stiff wave and sang the afternoon away, trying to forget the illness that has latched onto him and also our happiness. </div>
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Dad, I miss you.</div>
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I love you.</div>
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Al-Fatihah.</div>
Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-21644154657688042352014-02-15T00:50:00.001+08:002014-02-16T10:18:53.214+08:00Judgemental Arseholes are not welcome. <div style="text-align: center;">
When a girl (usually the pretty ones) complain about their appearance or whine about how ugly they are, people who are especially judgemental will label them 'attention seekers' or 'compliment fishers' without even hesitating. Yeah, maybe they're right, she might be fishing for flattering compliments, but then again MAYBE she actually <i>does</i> find herself ugly.</div>
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I have been called fat, black, ugly, boyish and so on, and these critics on my appearance affected my opinion about myself and my confidence A LOT and I am in fact, still inflicted by them. I've been called names <i>so</i> many times before, that the idea of me being ugly is planted and has bloomed in my head and that being, whatever image I see in the mirror now will never be good enough. I think most girls can relate to this.</div>
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However, as I grow up, compliments do come around from time to time, but even if they are genuine, it's still quite difficult for me to believe them because I will always reminisce the days where people used to torment me and gave me fake compliments. Regardless of what they say, I keep refusing them because how I see myself is deeply affected by the negativity people have fed me once. No matter how hard they try to convince me, it still won't change the perspective I have for myself and that's basically when I get labeled 'attention seeker'. </div>
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Sometimes, I'd lose my temper and send someone off just because they gave me a compliment, especially when I'm not at my best. It kinda makes me a jerk to do so but to me, it's really frustrating to hear people say what I have come to believe as untrue about me (even if they actually are) and expecting me to buy it. This could be frustrating for the other party for getting ticked off even when they had good intentions but I'm just so full of doubt to give a positive response, alright? To be honest, my reluctance to accept positivity frustrates me just as much and trust me, I'm working on it :/</div>
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Long story short, I have trust issues.</div>
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Although occasionally, I do accept the nice things people say to me and get boosts of confidence afterwards but they're only ephemeral. It never actually lasts.</div>
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Social stigma is also one of the reasons why I feel like cupping my ears and run away while screaming when I hear "Hey, you're pretty" from someone, yknow? Because some fucked up people really live up to the term "judgemental assholes". </div>
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"You're so beautiful!"</div>
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"Oh thank you! *smiles"</div>
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This is being perasan.</div>
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"You're so beautiful!"</div>
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"Nahh, I'm not lah"</div>
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This is attention seeking.</div>
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You think I'm exaggerating? NO. Mental people who judge like this <i>do </i>exist.</div>
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So lately, whenever someone says something about a girl being an attention seeker just because she denied a compliment, I'd automatically feel defensive over her (not that I'd stand up for her to take a punch or anything. I'm too much of a pussy to commit such bravery but I rebel inside like I always do..) because we don't know what she's gone through in the past. I can get very sensitive and overwhelmed when this happens because I know too well how it feels to be insecure. It's not fair for us to simply get labeled just because we disagree to believe how people see us no matter if we really are pretty or not (no narcissism is intended here). We're not fishing for compliments, we're just very hard to crack. If I could explain to you why it is how it is, I'd already do that but it seems like I can't because I don't know how to and even if I tried, no one would be able to understand. </div><div style="text-align: center;">So if she doesn't want to take the compliment, then let her be and try to understand. If you wanna keep on convincing her that she's beautiful then go on because it's nicer that way but even if you don't want to, just shut your glob because labeling her names is completely unnecessary and super mean. Senang cerita, don't judge people too quickly. Thanks.</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZRGg6Z-vC1PU-GZ2ZOilg9_8_wPnzcu3FZ6T7hTTCm6j4sCo6bOTHDjO7EdjjcskXOvOAFQmTK-Gzw-jJZeRRz_vIpkld6yez5BHwMGZTn3J262F3p9zq20ijlTIs6LQdYsdRmic9ej82/s1600/http%2525253A%2525252F%2525252F25.media.tumblr.com%2525252Fecd410956978f764255a7764d9d47d98%2525252Ftumblr_mvc83rhMFd1sjpicso1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZRGg6Z-vC1PU-GZ2ZOilg9_8_wPnzcu3FZ6T7hTTCm6j4sCo6bOTHDjO7EdjjcskXOvOAFQmTK-Gzw-jJZeRRz_vIpkld6yez5BHwMGZTn3J262F3p9zq20ijlTIs6LQdYsdRmic9ej82/s640/http%2525253A%2525252F%2525252F25.media.tumblr.com%2525252Fecd410956978f764255a7764d9d47d98%2525252Ftumblr_mvc83rhMFd1sjpicso1_500.jpg"> </a> </div>Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-35229889079262828982013-07-29T23:34:00.002+08:002013-07-29T23:34:56.541+08:00Slap me.<div style="text-align: center;">
Negativity sucks. <i>Over-thinking </i>sucks.</div>
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Over-thinking is very native to a pessimist (which is to say, me) and that is a big thumbs down. A bad news, a dark memory, a comment, a confession, a physical gesture and even honesty could lead us to a bad case of over-thinking. It <i>kills</i>. Do you know what it does to you if the intense negativity lasts for so long? Depression. Do you know what <i>depression</i> does to you? Suck out all of your happiness in one go. It's more like a Dementor but it works emotionally and that's worse because you basically can't see it coming.</div>
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The thing is with us pessimists, we can create a hell of a damn mess out of a small smudge. We get a small problem, then we question and question and question ourselves with unreasonable things until we feel nothing but doubt and see all the negativity there is in that situation. It's so stupid when I think of it but it's so hard for me to let it pass when I'm already used to this. I mean, look at what I'm writing about and look at the first <i>word</i> of this post! It sickens me to realize that I will never change into a person with a better mindset.</div>
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But it's funny how I am only negative to myself. Know what I mean? I am always the one who brings myself down and I am always attacking myself with my pessimism but not to other people. I'm like the biggest optimist you will ever meet when it comes to anyone else's problem. I sort of realized this like, two seconds ago.<br />
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I need help. Any help would do at this point of time. I can't bare with the idea of being constantly blinded by the dark (so deep) and getting all shit face depressed over a problem as big as a baby's booger. I'm actually tired. Tired of my own sighs and the sleepless nights I spend on <i>over</i>-thinking about a stupid matter. This has to stop...<br />
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Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-16806216882664932662013-07-21T15:27:00.003+08:002013-07-21T15:27:52.896+08:00A question to my 14 year old self: WHY?<div style="text-align: center;">
I just<i> had </i>to remind myself how I was two years ago. I scrolled through my previous posts that were dated back in 2011 and oh. my. <i>God.</i></div>
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The posts were so silly, I can't even... I curse a lot too back then, even more than I do now and that deserves a good amount of spanking. Wasn't I aware of how disgraceful I was? 'Crap' in every paragraph? 'Effing' before every verb? Referring to other people as 'bitches' all the time??</div>
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If I could travel back in time, I'd go back to 2011, slap myself and go, "NO." I apologize to everyone for my lack of manner in my past updates. I had no control over it as it was the immature 'me' who wrote all of that. Well what to do.... '<i>kids'.</i></div>
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Don't bother searching for those posts though 'cause I deleted most of the embarrassing ones and I know better than to let you guys taste the satisfactory of laughing at my sorry ass :P So save yourself from wasting time and make a good use out of it instead. </div>
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I still regret being the 14 year old that I was though... </div>
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WHY MAR URGGGGHHHHH</div>
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Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-55781941564378629222013-07-11T14:43:00.000+08:002014-07-08T14:14:37.201+08:00salam Ramadhan !<div style="text-align: center;">
Assalamualaikum and good afternoon mon cheries! It's the second day of the fasting month and I hope your Ramadhan has been good so far :)</div>
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I know I'm a day late to wish y'all happy fasting but I tweeted my wish already so consider it the same? hihi.</div>
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Well... I really did consider writing more about Ramadhan here, about the benefits you get, how you should try to cleanse your soul in this holy month and all that stuff, but I'm not really good at it and I might end up writing something completely pointless and won't make any sense at all. So I'm leaving that to other bloggers to inspire you and persuade you into doing more good deeds this month :) </div>
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But yeah, don't miss a day of fasting InsyaAllah but if it's inevitable, then I completely understand, especially for girls. Boys shouldn't have any problems with this though unless if you're really sick or dying.</div>
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Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan al-Mubarak from me :*<br />
Xoxo</div>
Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-70392338043786077302013-07-10T23:46:00.000+08:002014-07-08T14:07:08.638+08:00That one song..<div style="text-align: center;">
Have you ever fell in love with a song that gives you the worse thoughts about life, love and yourself? The song eats you up with every word that was sung, every change in chords of the guitar, every melody the song sways to, it just ... crushes you.</div>
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But the combination of it all is simply perfect.</div>
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I have one and I'm dangerously addicted to it. </div>
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This is by far the best, yet the worse addiction I have ever had. This song is capable of bringing me to tears but I would still be pressing the button to increase the audio volume.</div>
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The sadness and anger it brings me is beyond compare and I'm scared because it relates with the love life I'm in right now. </div>
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well, dang it.</div>
Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-36287164387611161272013-07-04T00:49:00.001+08:002014-07-08T14:09:41.878+08:00Need ... sleep.<div style="text-align: center;">
Need</div>
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Sleep</div>
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Need</div>
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Sleep</div>
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Need</div>
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Sleep</div>
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I'm craving for a goodnight's sleep but I can't seem to get any lately. I guess it's that time of the year again, where every twist and turn alerts my senses, making myself restless, driving me crazy and it's draining my energy more and more as the days go by. Even if I managed to force myself to sleep, it's usually just the body that rests. My head however, doesnt know the meaning of a fucking rest, I suppose. Urgh. For once, I want my body and my brain to be in sync so I can have a dreamless, satisfying sleep. I need that. Just for one night. I can't cope with only half of my body being asleep while the other half is itching to go for a stroll in the park anymore. This insomnia-ish thing has got to stop or my level of sanity is gonna be close to non-existent soon. God please help me get some rest cause this is literally affecting my performance in class. Dozing off in class is becoming a habit now and man, that's bad.</div>
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I'm exhausteddddddddd</div>
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Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-3610825104814045012013-07-02T21:11:00.000+08:002014-07-08T14:13:06.784+08:0016? Already?<div style="text-align: center;">
Today should be the second day of the second half of 2013. Already, huh? Yeah, it's true what they say; time flies. Because it really feels like it was just yesterday when I took my first paper for PMR. The nerve, the excitement, the twisted knot in my tummy, I could still feel it.</div>
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Ah damn, I wish time could take it easy for awhile 'cause I really don't wanna be 17 too fast. I'm 16 now.... how the fuck did that happen?! D: </div>
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The next thing I'm going to say is probably gonna make the lower secondary students go 'Oh damn she's bonkers', but kids, I miss being a PMR candidate <i>so </i>badly. Life was still easy back then and those 8 subjects? You can ace them, no problem. But you still have to study la of course.<br />
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My senior told me the same thing last year and I couldn't believe a <i>word </i>so I laughed and replied 'It is soooooo hard to be in my shoes rn, you have no idea. I'm dying ohmygosh' and now, I really feel like taking that back because first, I sound stupid and second, I finally understand them after standing in <i>their </i>shoes.<br />
SPM, my friend, is a murderer.<br />
Biology, Addmath, Physics, Chemistry ; a combo from hell.<br />
The others are a pain in the ass too so yeah, no worries. You know, PMR is child's play once you get involved with these subjects. I'm really not looking forward to SPM especially when I'm a science student.<br />
Hmm, Science stream; <i><b>get. out. of. it.</b></i><br />
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The subjects are not the only thing that changes when you get into form 4 though. From what you learn, to the style of learning, it's all different. And from this point on, there's no more playing around 'cause you will be in for a ride. If you don't know how to carry yourself throughout these two years of hell, you're basically dead.<br />
<i>I'm </i>dead.<br />
But I'll try my best. No more fooling around then.... </div>
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AND THAT SUCKS BECAUSE FOOLING AROUND IS MY FORTE PFFT.</div>
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Whatever. I still can't believe I'm 16. Alright.</div>
Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-80091021853108081832013-07-02T17:47:00.001+08:002014-07-08T14:15:40.295+08:00hi again.<div style="text-align: center;">
Mm it has been awhile (yeah, 10 months) since my last post and I figured I should write something , anything at all for you guys to read :) </div>
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AS IF.</div>
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No one ever reads my blog. It's a ghost town here. So yeah, the best way to explain why I'm here after going missing for almost a year is because I'm bored.</div>
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I'm lying on my bed in my towel, soaking in the laziness and I don't know what better things to do. Okay don't tell me to study, please. I won't. Go, cry me a river, beg me, persuade me with anything at all and I will still be very hesitant to study if not completely rejecting the idea of opening a book. </div>
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Good God why can't life be more exciting by just lying down .... oh hahaha I guess that's why good dreams exist. Lie down, close your eyes and have the time of your life! In your head. Mmm. </div>
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I'm still bored though ... HI.</div>
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I think I wanna continue posting stuffs on this blog. Oh yknow since I got a new phone and all :P so the blog is pretty much accessible anytime anywhere... chicken. </div>
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Hm.</div>
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That was random.</div>
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Before I go, lemme just tell you that my life is stepping up a notch lately and weeeeeee it feels good. SO BLOODY GOOD to be happy again and it's all thanks to this one special somebody :3 </div>
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Cheerios.</div>
Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4490263458093456761.post-70657448430547450152012-08-30T21:34:00.001+08:002012-08-30T23:49:27.834+08:00Hypocrite much? Oh you 'bitcha'<div style="text-align: center;">
First of all,</div>
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So one day, I did some artsy work on some paper cut-outs, card boards, paints and whatnot which was a way of me killing time in school. And to my surprise, I received a few compliments regarding those '<i>works</i>' I've been doing from a number of my friends but one girl negatively commented on them and said it was worthless, a waste of my time and that I was just creating a gimmick. I accepted her comments without contradictions <i>except</i> for the gimmick part. Honestly, her logic is so fucked up. Is it even <i>wrong</i> to create something for myself without getting called an attention seeker? It's not fair because the whole idea of me doing those stuffs were just for the sake of my own satisfaction.</div>
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<b>So that's strike-one for the little nuisance.</b></div>
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Much much later....</div>
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I found out that she has been carrying out the same art project I did which she directly said to me how annoying it is TO HER. So why is she copycat-ing me? Hypocrite much? I wouldn't say so if she haven't commented anything bad on whatever I was doing, but then she <i>did</i> and indirectly showed hatred towards it. So when she did the similar 'snitchy' work I did, there's no doubt that she's just being envious before and her ego made her say something that could hinder me from continuing from whatever shananigans I was happily doing so she could just steal my idea away and make it hers. Okay, I might sound a bit vain here but that's how I see it ._. </div>
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What I did was not a gimmick. But what you did WAS!</div>
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You judge, I judge.</div>
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<b>AND THAT'S STRIKE-TWO, MOTHERFUCKER.</b></div>
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Daylilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11828836351289729279noreply@blogger.com0